*Cue static and walkie-talkie voices* "All units, be on the lookout for suspect in string of burglaries. The suspect is of an unknown gender, race, age, and body type. The unsub has not been spotted in all of history, but the testimonies of witnesses remain the same: the subject covertly claims one sock from the laundry before victims can complete the chore. This suspect should be considered multi-armed and extremely dangerous to your closet and personal sanity."
That is right. The sock monster has struck again. A few weeks ago, I thought it had taken a specific and much beloved dress sock. Well, it must have been a delicate and detailed trap! Last night, I put the newly re-joined pair of socks in the wash, along with an entire wardrobe of shirts, pants, and PJ's. This morning, when I made my way down into the dark and frigid basement to reclaim my attire, I made a startling discovery: the sock monster had struck!
That little sucker took my beloved skin-toned dress sock! He didn't even have the decency to take them both! Now what will I wear with my brown dress shoes? Oh, dear.
Seriously, I am tired of being victimized. I have more single socks than I do pairs! Just in past two months or so, I have 8 socks that have been separated from their other half!! What is up with that! Also, what is up with me keeping them? I have a tote bag full of unpaired socks. I am still holding out hope that they will be reunited one day soon. Should I just give up? I think I have come to the conclusion that I will hold out hope a little while longer. Only after I am sure the sock monster will not have a change of heart and return my socks, I will pull a fast one. Ladies and gents, keep an eye out for my future couture sock dress...
I'm not sure if it's just us, or if everyone does this... but I too have a ever grown pile of unpaired socks. At first I thought it was Sterling... but after ravaging his socks, no luck. Perhaps they dissolve in the dryer? Are socks made of such a material that one at a time they will dissolve into the lint trap?
ReplyDeleteEither way, if you would like a sizeable donation of unpaired socks for your couture dress... let me know :)